Bob's Angry Rants

As many of you may be aware, a woman caused an uproar/evacuation at SFO the other day when she managed to get past a security checkpoint by moving a table out of the way. She had boarded her plane and departed before airport security even started evacuating the terminal.

Now, I happen think that the vast majority of the increased security at airports is nothing but a waste of money. I don't think that the increased searches, equipment and personnel actually makes flying any safer. This is because if someone really wants to kill a bunch of people, they will usually figure out a way to do it. It is very difficult to stop someone who doesn't care if they die or not.

But if you are going to do something, at least do it right. I cannot believe that all that stands between a terrorist and passenger plane is a medium-sized cafeteria table. Is this the best barricade that we can put together with all of the money we've been throwing at airport security? Maybe a sign reading "Do not Enter" or "No Terrorists" would make the blockade more effective.

A representative of the airport security said, "[We] can't afford to take shortcuts with security. We don't expect passengers to do that either." Yes, perfect. Because terrorists always wait in line and never try to circumvent the system. If your whole anti-terror plan relies on terrorists not breaking any rules, I think that you're pretty screwed.

The scary thing is that much of the government's policies do seem to depend on this philosophy. This past December, they arrested hundreds of people in LA (and across the country) during an INS program of mandatory registration of people from those various Middle Eastern countries. The idea that terrorists would show up to be registered is ridiculous. In the end they captured no terrorists and seriously eroded any goodwill between Muslim communities and the authorities.

Maybe the Department of Homeland Security should send out a spam e-mail that reads:

"TERRORISTS, INCREASE THE SIZE OF YOUR PENIS!!! THIS WEEK ONLY, WE ARE RUNNING A SPECIAL DEAL FOR TERRORISTS WHO WANT BIGGER PENISES! JUST SEND YOUR HOME ADDRESS TO [email protected] TO RECEIVE A FREE SAMPLE OF OUR PENIS ELARGING OINTMENT!!!!"

Hell, I'd say it has at least as good a chance at working as some of this other crap they're trying. And it has the upshot of not violating everybody's civil liberties.