Bob's Angry Rants

Last night I went to class, like I always do. During the break, I made a little stop in the restroom, which I don�t always do, but is pretty normal. Anyway, I�m sitting in the stall, and I�m pretty much done with my business there. Then I hear someone come in and start to use the urinal. Which is still well within the normal events of any given day.

Then, suddenly, the guy starts making these noises like he�s in extreme pain or maybe experiencing extreme pleasure. Sometimes it is hard to tell the difference, especially when there�s no visual context. I don't think I need to tell you that this is NOT normal.

AAAAAAARGGGGGGGGG�uuuuh�(panting)

*pause*

UUUNNNNGGGRRRRRRR�uuuuuh�(panting)

*pause*

EEEOOOORRRGHGHGHHNNNHHHH�uuuuhn�

I have NO IDEA what is happening outside of my little stall, and I�m pretty confident that I don�t want to know. If this person were in the other stall, I�d assume that they were trying to squeeze a soccer ball out their ass. Whatever it was, this guy was putting a lot of effort into it, practically out of breath.

So I�m just sitting here, on the toilet, trying to figure out what to do. Clearly, this person is doing something that really should be done in private or possibly on a stage. Do they know that I�m in here? Do they care that I�m in here? Do they need help? Would I want to help if they did?

HHRRRRRNNNNGGGGGGGGG�aahhhh� (panting)

I don�t want to listen to this, but even more than that, I don�t want to leave, because I don�t want to see this person. What if I know them? This is not a huge school, especially for night students, so I probably will at least recognize him, even if we don�t know each other personally. And then, whenever I saw them in class or whatever, this incident would come to mind for both of us. Or even worse, what if it was one of my professors? That would be horrible. I just couldn�t deal with that possibility. So I just had to wait it out.

NNNNNNNNNNNNRRRRRRRRRRRRRRHHHHHHHHGGGGGGG�.aaahhhhhhh�(panting)

How long is this going to go on? Somebody has to come in at some point and either get this guy to stop what he�s doing or call an ambulance or whatever actions would appropriate for whatever the hell he�s doing.

HUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGG� uuuuhh� (panting)

Maybe if I run out really quick and keep my eyes averted, we won�t see each other� unless he�s facing the wrong direction?

GAAAAAHHHHHHHHRRRRRRRR� uuhhh� (panting)

(door opening/closing)

Thank God! Now, I�ll just wait a minute to leave so that he�ll have cleared out of the lobby area by the time I come out.

(door opening/closing)

GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAARRRRRGGGGGGGGGGG� wuuuuuuhh.

No!!! Why didn�t I leave when I had the chance?! I�ll probably be stuck in here all night with this freakshow.

Thankfully, he left again shortly after this, and I was able to make my escape and return to class. I have to admit, though, that I had a hard time focusing on property transactions after this experience. I think I played it right, though. I still have no idea who it was out there or what he was trying to accomplish and I�m happier for it. Sometimes ignorance really is bliss, and in this instance I�d love to know even less about this situation than I already do.