Bob's Angry Rants

Okay, we're on a roll now.

This past weekend my wife and I were in New York for a wedding. Not really New York. Buffalo. Not that there's anything especially wrong with Buffalo, there just isn't much there. I especially liked the way the visitor's guide we had showed the location of Niagra Falls and 8 shopping malls. Now, we didn't go to the malls, but we did get a chance to stop by the falls. Lots of water there. It didn't really make me feel so romantic as it did make me want to pee. But at least we saw it. I think that aside from the majesty of nature and of God's creation and all that stuff, the best thing about going to Niagra Falls was that I now have no reason to ever go back to Buffalo.

We flew on Jet Blue, which was a pretty good experience. Those little TVs they've got are nice on long flights. I do have to say, though, that the headphones that they hand out are TOO SMALL! Okay, those of you with normal sized heads may be fine, but for those of us with giant noggins, this kind of thing can be very irritating. I have learned, to my dismay that any headgear designed as "one size fits all" does not, in fact, fit all. More specifically, it doesn't not fit me. I've broken or damaged more than my share of one size fits all caps and hats. And even when I can get them on, they look ridiculous.

On the other hand, I've been thinking that my big melon is a great excuse for my weight gain. When I was lean and mean, my head really did look kind of like an apple on a toothpick. Now that I've "filled out" a little, I feel that my body is definitely more in proportion with my huge coconut now. And really, isn't being properly proportioned the important thing?

Getting back to the wedding, it was lovely. Groom, bride, blah, blah, blah. No dancing at the reception, though. Which isn't to say that I didn't dance. But only a little bit, surreptitiously. Or as surreptitious as a 5'11" slightly chubby Asian man shaking his ass for all he's worth can be, anyway.