Bob's Angry Rants

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I Married a Communist.

10/07/2003 - 2:34 p.m.

Now, I mean this in the nicest way, but I married a pinko Commie.

Actually, we�re probably beyond pinko, into mauve or fuscia or something. I�m really not that good with colors, so just pick something between pink and red and pretend that I used that color for my joke. I can barely tell the difference between blue and green, so what do you want.

Anyway, I was just about to say that I�m as liberal as the next person, but of course this isn�t true. Certainly not when the next person is my wife, which I guess it often is. In which case, I�m frightfully conservative. Of course, compared to most Democrats, I�m a raging liberal, so I guess everything is relative. To be quite honest, about half the time, I disagree with Anne just for the purpose of arguing about it. It can be fun to argue! See this site for a much funnier and thorough covering of the topic than I could ever do.

Back to the subject at hand, Anne isn�t really a Communist. She�s a registered Democrat, like me. But, really, in her heart of hearts, she�s a socialist. She�s even voted Green, for God�s sake. Green!

I call her a Commie primarily because of the mail and calls we receive. Anne has, at times, subscribed to the following magazines: The Utne Reader, Ms., Harper's and Mother Jones (she only buys Bitch, hasn�t subscribed). She also gives money to KQED, our local public TV/radio station, but we both do that. At one point, she worked for a hunger advocacy non-profit organization. By which I mean that they advocated for hungry people, not hunger itself, which gets around surprisingly well without much advocacy of any sort. She gives money to political causes she cares about (i.e. socialistic types). You can only imagine the kind of mailing lists this gets us on. Every left-wing cause under the sun sends us unsolicited solicitations in the mail. Some days it seems like every other piece of mail is either a catalog (We do a lot of catalog shopping) or a commie manifesto.

Did I mention that she�s a member of a union?

I don�t mean for any of this to be taken in a negative way. I love everything about my wife, including the fact that she�s passionate about these issues. I�d be happy not to receive some of the junk mail that comes with that package, but what can you do. On the other hand, if John Ashcroft gets me blacklisted I�ll know who to blame.

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