Bob's Angry Rants

Okay, I'm back.

Maybe.

I mean, I said I was back last time and I wasn't so I'm not sure what's gonna be so different about this time. Really, I was just looking at some of the old entries because I wanted to show someone the letter I wrote to the OED and I was struck by how funny I am. I mean, in all modesty, I'm freakin' hilarious.

So here's a quick update on the last 8 or 9 months. Got a new job, had another birthday, bought a condo. Other than that, things are pretty much the same as they've always been. Especially since the condo was the same unit as our apartment. So now we just live in the same place but instead of rent, we have loan payments. Whee!

The new job is great with one glaring exception. This temp who just started a couple weeks ago decided to build a fucking haunted house out of file cabinets and miscellaneous crap behind her cube. The cube that happens to be just one down from mine. And it is one noisy-ass haunted file-cabinet. My day has gone a little something like this:

***

Attorney: We need to get this filed and served today.

Noisy-Ass Haunted File Cabinet: MUA-HA-HA-HA!

Me: Okay, how many exhibits are there going to be?

NAHFC: AAAAAAARRRRGGHHH!!! HELP ME!!

A: I think about 4. I'll need you to gather them up.

NAHFC: HAPPY HALLOWEEN! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!

Me: Okay, I'll get right on it.

NAHFC: MUA-HA-HA-HA! OOOooooooOOOOOOOoooooOOOOO!

***

It just don't get more fun than that.

Unless, of course, you count what happened this past weekend. Anne told me that "Bob" was a name "that a stupid person would have". Then she corrected herself and said, "Not, stupid. You know... annoying." Can you believe that? I mean, that's pretty fucked up right there, if you ask me.

Right now I can't decide which is worse. The fact that my wife thinks I have the name of a stupid annoying person or the noisy-ass haunted file cabinet. Once I've got some time and space to put it all in perspective, I think I'll go with the wife/name thing, but right now, the file cabinet is still right there, taunting me.

MUA-HA-HA-HA! HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Definitely the file cabinet.