Bob's Angry Rants

With all of the ranting I do about how stupid people are, I can be quite an idiot myself. Probably more often than I'd like to admit. Of course, it does fit in nicely with my belief that people are stupid. I just don't usually think of "people" as encompassing myself.

For example, last week, the attorney I work for gave me a tape with a brief he had dictated on it. I've got one of these tape players with speed control and foot pedals, so I pop it in there but there's nothing on side A. So I turn it over and rewind the tape, but there's nothing on side B either! After fiddling with the tape, flipping it back and forth, fast forwarding and rewinding, etc. for several minutes, I finally go to the attorney and tell him that he gave me a blank tape. Of course, when I got back to my desk, I realized that my headphones weren't plugged in. I'm sure that you all saw it coming a mile away, but let me tell you, I was more than a little shocked and embarrassed.

Oh, and here are a couple helpful hints on pocket knife usage which I derived after a painful experience this past Sunday:

1) Do not play with your pocketknife while driving your car.

2) When trying to close your knife, be sure to apply pressure to the blunt back end and not the sharp, cutting edge.

I think that you'll find these simple rules will result in a much more gratifying and less painful experience. On the upside, I did get a cool, purple Harry Potter bandage out of this deal, so I guess every cloud does have a silver lining.

Of course, these are obvious things. What's even more scary are the times when I was acting like a total idiot and didn't realize it. I get chills just thinking about it.