Bob's Angry Rants

I've been watching the World Series of Poker on ESPN and I have to say that it really got me excited about poker again. It was actually pretty good TV. Better than a lot of the stuff that was out there. Watching someone bluff with hundreds of thousands of dollars on the line is just fascinating.

As a result, I've begun to dabble in the world of online poker. For real money. Stop looking at me like that. It's not what you think. Well, maybe it is, but regardless, I just wanted to see what it was like, so I put down $20.00 to start. I have no intention to put down more money, should I lose my initial investment.

To be honest, I was pretty scared at first because I've seen a lot of movies and whatnot about how, at the poker table, you're either the shark or the fish. I though that I would be a fish, at least for a while, but it turns out that most of the people at the $1/$2 tables are really bad! I mean, really, really bad!

The way other people play is mystifying. There's going to be some poker terminology in here, so be prepared. I mean, they'll call you all the way down the river and then fold after missing whatever draw it is they thought they had. Or even worse, sometimes they'll call your last bet even though they have nothing! I guess some people just can't stand the idea that someone might be bluffing. But even if I am bluffing, at least play a hand that could beat my bluff. They slow play their good hands (giving other players a chance to make their draws) and bet like crazy when they've got nothing.

I have to admit it is alternately very boring and very exciting. Since I'm only playing about 1 out of 10 (or less) hands, there's actually a fair amount of downtime. I sense that other players at this level getting impatient and betting with bad cards. I guess most people are want to actually play hands, though, so I can see how it can be tough to fold so much. I've got trademark law to keep me company, so I'm in no big hurry. Also, in structured limit Hold'em, there are no antes (only blinds, which you have to pay 1.5 times every 10 hands or so), so there's no reason to bet bad hands unless you get impatient.

Of course, I could lose it all tomorrow, but right now, I'm sitting pretty. I'm up about $150 right now. I'm guessing that the people who are actually good at poker play the higher limit tables, so I'll avoid those for now. I actually had my first losing session last night... lost $1.00. My full house (jacks over eights) was beaten by four eights. I didn't see it coming. Sucked up all my winning for the day plus a little more.

Some people have asked me if it is legal. Well, since most of these online card rooms are overseas operations, there isn't much in the way of government oversight. There are some sites better than others, however. I play at Paradise Poker, which is fairly reputable. They had a third-party audit done by PricewaterhouseCoopers, which was thumbs up. There are no guarantees, of course, but my experience has been pretty good so far. If you're ever in the neighborhood, look for ChunkyRice (that's stolen from Craig Thompson's "Good-bye, Chunky Rice," for those you who are curious) at the $1/$2 Hold'em tables and say hello. It's always nice to meet new fish... I mean people.