Bob's Angry Rants

Okay, I know that I've been neglectful of the old diary here. I couldn't let two full weeks pass by without putting something up, though, so here's a letter I've been working on. I haven't sent it yet, partially because I'm not sure what the postage is to London. I'm also not sure whether to put this letter in the "Letters" section or the "Martha" section.

March 21, 2003

CRM Department
Guinness World Records Ltd, 8th Floor
338 Euston Rd
London NW1 3BD

re: New Record

Dear Guinness World Records, Ltd.:

I am writing to inquire if you have an entry for "World's Most Annoying Co-Worker." If so, I think that I have a candidate who is sure to take the title. If there is such a category, please forward me the method by which you determine it so that I may prove to you that I have the "World's Most Annoying Co-Worker."

In the event that you do not yet have such a category, perhaps you might consider starting one. Sure, it might be a little difficult to set objective criteria by which to judge such a record, but if you came to my office and sat at my desk for a couple days, I am certain that you'd agree with me that it is really no contest. It should probably be for a couple days, because there are the occasional times when she is only incredibly, mind-bogglingly annoying and not jump-out-the-window-to-end-the-pain annoying like she usually is.

I have actually written several short essays about Martha, which can be found online at http://adancingfool.diaryland.com/older4.html. I recommend that you review these prior to sending a representative here to observe the real deal. It should give you some idea what to expect.

Please contact me at the above address if you wish to confirm these claims. I can arrange for a representative from your office to observe the phenomenon that is Martha.

Very truly yours,

Robert *****