Bob's Angry Rants

March 28, 2002

The Antique Center
6519 Telegraph Avenue
Oakland, CA 94609

re: Appraisal

To whom it may concern:

I have recently discovered an artifact that I wish to have it appraised. Judging from the garbage that I see on Antiques Roadshow every week ($1,500 for some ugly glass lamp?!?), this has got to be worth something.

Last week I was packing up all of my stuff to move to a new apartment. As I was getting ready to push my couch off the balcony, I noticed that something had been hidden beneath it! As I looked closer I realized that it was a copy of the October 11, 1993 Valley Mirror (covering Glenn, Colusa, Butte and Tehama counties). This is the oldest newspaper I have ever seen, on account that I usually throw them out after a few months.

This paper appears to be in near perfect condition. I haven't opened it up, because the material seems to be brittle around the edges and I didn't want to ruin it. The only markings on it that I can see are three words written in the crossword puzzle (one of which is clearly wrong).

I have carefully wrapped the paper in a Glad trash bag to protect it from further weathering. Do you have enough information for an appraisal or do you need me to bring it in? Please let me know your opinion at your earliest convenience, as I could really use the money. Also, I was hoping you could recommend a dealer who specializes in rubber finger puppets, because I turned up a small treasure trove of them (c. 1980) behind my TV stand.

A hopeful collector,

Robert *****